How to Win Ex Back When Love Still Exists

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 20 January 2009

Do you want to win ex back?  If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together.  You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame.  Here’s how to win ex back.

First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings.  Do you still care deeply about your ex?  Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable.  You don’t want to lose your ex because he’s like an old slipper.  But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship.  There has to be a great love.  If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.

And that next step is examining how he feels about you.  Does he have the same kind of grand love?  If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win ex back.  But, if the problem was deeper – he was no longer in love with you – you should start to move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together.  For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you.  Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change.  You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence.  You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.

If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.

Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment.  Don’t call, text, or stalk him.  You don’t want to appear desperate.  By  seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him. 

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy.  You get reconnected to friends and family.  You take up hobbies and other things which interest you.  You become a more positive person in general.  This all helps in win ex back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage.  For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it.  If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again.  Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events.  Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party.  Let him know he’s free to bring a date. 

Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself.  Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t.  You can’t change who you are to win ex back.  You can only be yourself.

Seven Steps To Save Your Relationship

Posted by admin on 20 January 2009

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

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Want Your Ex Back – Changing What Went Bad to Get Your Ex Back

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 19 January 2009

You are home after a date with yet another guy.  It didn’t go well.  You find yourself saying I want ex back. 

After a break up, you may move on to other people.  But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?

There are, and in this article, I present you with five strategies for when you want ex back.

First, clear your energy from other people.  Don’t invest time and energy in men who aren’t your ex.  For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him.  If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.

Next, keep your dignity.  Don’t chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him.  Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well.  Don’t be a doormat.  You will only command your ex’s respect and love when you are yourself at your best.  Hold your head high.  You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.

Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them.  Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations.  Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points.  This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.

Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances.  Go to new places and try new things.  Take up a new hobby together.  Meet new people.  By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work.  Don’t fall into the same old patterns of your relationship.  You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch.  If you were living together, try having separate places for a while.  If you were engaged, try just dating.  Don’t try to force your relationship back into old patterns.

Finally, create a shared sense of destiny.  While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script.  Map out with your partner where you want to go.  When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.

When you want ex back, you have to work with new scenarios.  Follow the advice in this article if you want ex back.

Techniques & Tips – Get Ex Boyfriend Back

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 19 January 2009

Do you want to get ex boyfriend back?  Are you reeling from his desire to call the relationship quits?  Do you have an empty place in your heart – and in your life – where he used to be? Here are some tips and techniques to get ex boyfriend back.

First of all, whatever you do, don’t chase him.  This means lay off the texts, the phone calls, and the stalking.  Don’t just show up where he happens to be.  This stalking behavior will just turn him off.  He’s got to want to come back to you, not the other way around.  That’s the only way to get ex boyfriend back.

Instead of pursuing him, start to work on you.  In order to get ex boyfriend back, you need to become a more positive person.  You probably have many negative emotions right now including loss and hurt.  You need to purge these feelings and get back on a positive note.

One way to do this is to write a long letter to your boyfriend talking about all of the good times you had, all of the hurts you experienced, and all of the things you wished you had told him.  Once you have poured your heart out on paper, burn the letter.  That’s right.  Whatever you do, DON’T SEND THE LETTER.  Instead, light a match and watch the flame consume the paper.  This will give you some closure to that portion of the relationship.

After you have burned the letter, eliminate all negativity from your life.  Don’t let your girlfriends talk badly about your ex.  And, to the extent possible, be positive about your whole life.

When you do think about the relationship, remember what made it strong.  Think about the good times you had.  If you do occasionally talk to your ex, bring up the positive experiences and avoid fighting about the issues that ended it.  If you want to get ex boyfriend back, you have to remind him what was good about the relationship.

To this end, focus your energy working on your strengths.  For instance, if your boyfriend always praised you on being a good cook, take a gourmet cooking class.  Get even better at the things you are good at.

But don’t neglect your weaknesses either.  If your ex complained about how you were a slob, start picking things around the house.  Make an effort to become a better person if you want to get ex boyfriend back.

Finally, you should be available – to him and others.  If someone asks you out on a date, accept it.  You don’t have to be head over heals in love with a guy to go out to dinner with him. 

As your ex sees you as a desirable catch, he’s going to want to get back into your life.  By focusing on the positive and working on your strengths and weaknesses, you are sure to get ex boyfriend back.

Men – Learning from Women Who Have Dumped You

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 18 January 2009

Okay, I’ll admit, I’ve been dumped.  More than once.  More than I’d like to admit, actually.  And, while it hurt quite a bit each time, I have to say that I have grown from the experiences.  So, here are some things I’ve learned from women who ve dumped me.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #1: It takes two. 

Often with the pain and heartbreak of a break up, it is easy to blame the other person for your misery.  But the truth is that if the relationship was no longer working, you were part of the problem.  Evaluate what went on so that you can apply the lessons to your next relationship.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #2: Give women their personal space.

Women like to cuddle and snuggle.  They may seem to always be around.  But they need their personal space too.  Men have a tendency to be possessive.  We want to keep tabs on where they’re going and what they’re doing there.  If any woman has ever cheated on you, this instinct becomes stronger.  But, trust is a key component in a relationship.  When you invade her personal space, you send the message that you don’t trust your girlfriend.  This can easily lead to the end of the relationship.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #3: You get stronger over time.

When you wake up in the morning and the hurt’s so real, you may believe that you will never get over the break up.  But the truth is that not only does time heal all pain, but you will emerge from the break up a stronger person.  As philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said, “that which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.”

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #4: It’s okay if it wasn’t meant to be.

Coming to accept that a relationship wasn’t meant to be is a key factor in healing.  If you had started projecting your relationship into the future – considering marriage, thinking about children – and then the woman you were with broke everything off, consider it a blessing.  It is better to end a relationship that wasn’t meant to be earlier rather than later.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #5: Good things don’t happen unless you make them happen.

Finally, the last lesson I want to share with you is that you can’t control what happened, but you can control to how you react to what happened.  If you want good things to happen in the future, you have to make them happen.

That means getting back on the horse.  Go out, meet new women.  Have some fun.  Eventually, you will find another relationship.  And, if you have followed the advice in this article about things I’ve learned from women who ve dumped me, the relationship will be even better and stronger than the last one.

How To Get Over Losing Someone You Love

Posted by admin on 18 January 2009

If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process. Sometimes it’s a slow process, too. You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again. That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.

If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss. It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.

If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out. It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible. Photographs of them can be put away for a while. Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed. You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while. This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.

If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling. Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love. A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.

Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well. Some may have motives for help you get over the person. They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly. With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to. If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.

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Every Relationship Has a Timeline – Lost Love

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 17 January 2009

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that’s about four days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places. I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.

How to Win Lover Back Using Common Sense

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 17 January 2009

How to win love back is a topic that I want to talk about today.  Too many people do this all wrong.  They think that they must aggressively pursue their ex in order to get him or her back.  In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.  If you want to know how to win love back, follow the advice in this article as closely as possible.

The first thing you need to know in the how to win love back arena is that you do not want to chase your ex. 

Too many guys think they must pursue their ex’s.  They send hundreds of texts, call at odd hours of the day, and even stalk their ex girlfriend’s home.  They send flowers and gifts. 

This is wrong, wrong, wrong because it makes you look desperate.  Women like Alpha males, not sniveling guys they think are jokes.  When you appear desperate, your ex girlfriend will start playing head games with you.  She’ll let you come over, and then invite a new guy over too.  She’ll pretend she’s interested only to go off in another direction.

And, the more you fall into this trap, the more games she’ll play.  This is not the answer to how to win love back.

Instead of chasing her and being desperate, you need to play games with her that make her come crawling to you.

When you are in a group that includes her, flirt with every girl but her.  If she has an enemy in the group, pay special attention to that girl.  By ignoring your ex, you make her want to come back to you.  You are reminding her of all of your charms, but not applying them to her.

It’s a good idea to go out on a date with one of her close friends.  Send your ex a text message saying “now that we’re just friends, I wanted your opinion on something.  Where should I take Mary to dinner after the big game?”  That is sure to make your ex girlfriend jealous and it’s one of the tricks for how to win love back.

Even if you don’t want to play head games with your ex, there is one thing that you can do that may help you in the how to win love back arena.  That is, you should be happy.

Girls like to date happy guys.  If you work on you rather than focus on her, you have a much better chance getting her back.

Go work out at the gym.  Hang with your buddies.  Get involved in a hobby you never had time for when you were dating her.  Go out on dates.  Even if you have to fake being happy initially, you will soon realize that you really are happy.

This way, whether you get the girl back or you move on, you will be a happier person.

And, that is my advice for how to win love back.

Relationship Advice For Men

Posted by admin on 17 January 2009

What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?

Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.

How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.

Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.

Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.

The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.

Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.

Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90′s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.

A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.

But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.

It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.

Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.

So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.

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Get Your Ex Back – What To Do When She's Dumped You

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 17 January 2009

How get your ex back?  This is the lament of every guy who has ever been dumped.  Did you know that in three quarters of break ups, it is the girl who calls the whole thing off?  Guys generally want to stay together with their girlfriends.  This article is about how to get ex back.

First of all, you have to determine whether she did you a favor by dumping you.  Too often, guys stick with girls out of inertia.  It is easier to stay in an okay relationship than go out and look for a really good one.  If you don’t feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul mate, consider that her calling things off might be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves you.  Girls can be fickle.  They are much more likely to act impulsively and then have regrets about what they did.  If you think she still loves you, you have a good chance at ho get your ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you.  Many guys call their ex’s numerous times, send hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such stalkerish behavior.  This just pushes their girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break up.  Move on.  Date other girls – especially girls in her circle.  By making her come back to you instead of the other way around, you will go about how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you have changed from the many she first fell in love with.  Often, guys try to impress girls up front.  But, once they have slipped into a comfortable relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off.  For instance, are you still working out as often as you did?  Toward the end, were you still opening her car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship?  These things can make a big difference in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her of your common bonds.  If you are going to go to a party where you know she’s going to be, wear a shirt she gave you.  If she has a favorite cologne, wear it.  And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in your past.  Don’t beat her over the head with them, but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Invite her to non-committal type of events.  If a group of friends are going to the beach, ask her to come along.  Begin seeing her in social settings once again.  When she comes along, pay some attention to her, but spend your time with your friends and other girls too.  When she sees that you are an attractive catch, you’ve already won half the battle of how get your ex back.

So, that is how get your ex back.

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