All About Magic of Making Up

If you are currently on the relationship scrapheap it’s not all doom and gloom as you can get your wife or girlfriend back. Even if you don’t think you can.

When I was in your situation I wanted to get my wife back. I did a bit of internet research, just like you are now.

I stumbled upon a great fool proof plan that laid out all the steps I need to take to get my wife back.

One section involved the use of psychological tricks that we could employ to help us get to our goal.

This bit worked like a dream for me. It kick-started everything else and the rest was a walk in the park.

My first psychological move was to leave her a specially worded message on her voice mail. Using the step by step instructions I mixed in some words to get her pretty curious about what I was up to.

Worked a treat as well because within twenty four hours she was on the phone to me. Plus she was convinced she’d made contact first.

She seemed to totally ignore the fact it was me who’d left a message. She still thinks to this very day that it was her who started getting us back together. Don’t think I’ll let her know otherwise.

You are right in believing these tricks are a little manipulative but we need to realise these things happen almost every day of our lives.

Think of the employee of the month thing that goes on at millions of companies. Do you get anything other than bragging rights if you win it? Very rarely.

Employers are using psychology here to get a bit more productivity out of us as we fight to win the top employee plaque. This is rarely seen as manipulative mind games.

In order to get my wife back I used a tried and tested game plan that included these mind games. You should also consider using an easy to follow plan.

If you don’t have a plan you are left wandering aimlessly hoping something will happen and usually finding you’ve made things worse.

For the price of a cheap date, can you afford not to get yourself a plan?

Get your ex back with the same step by step system I used.

If you’ve recently split with your wife or girlfriend, and it matters not who dumped who. You might have come to the conclusion you want her back.

Follow these simple 5 steps that I took to get my wife back and you could be well on your way to getting her back.

Step 1 – I got myself a plan. A battle plan if you will. I searched all over the net for the best info I could find.

I kept coming back to a couple of “off the shelf” ebooks that certainly talked the talk, but could they walk the walk?

I purchased both books and one was absolute rubbish. The other one, called “The Magic Of Making Up” was pretty good. Only pretty good because it had too much padding. The good bits were dynamite though.

Step 2 – I followed the advice and took some time out to get my head together. I was (I admit) in a pretty terrible state.

I followed the guide and after a few weeks I was feeling much better and fairly confident of success in getting her back.

Step 3 – I made the decision to try some of the psychological mumbo jumbo that was in one of the better bits of the guide.

The psychological trick was to leave her a seeded (with curiosity) message on her voice mail. I didn’t ask her to call me back but she did within 24 hours.

Step 4 – I used another psychological hook in that I had her favorite song playing in the background when she called.

I made sure whenever she phoned that she could hear her song play in the background. She still doesn’t realise it was me that did some psychological manoeuvring, she thinks she made the first call to get us back together.

Step 5 – A few weeks went by and we had quite a few nice phone chats, always her ringing me! I decided to take a gamble and ask her out for coffee.

She said ok and it was plain sailing after this. Coffee turned into a nice meal. Which turned into a proper date. Which then turned into her staying over at mine now and then.

Which all ended up in her staying over more often than not. Which ended up with me getting my ex back. Total time taken, about 6 to 8 weeks.

Your ex girlfriend broke up with you a short time ago.  Absence has made the heart grow fonder and you realize that you made some mistakes and you really want her back. You can learn more about how to get your ex back here.

How can you get your ex girlfriend back?  The thing is, there are many reconnect strategies, and it depends on why she broke up with you.  However, a lot of women break up with men because they don’t feel valued and appreciated.

Relationship drift is a big reason why a lot of relationships end.  This means your girlfriend isn’t that into you anymore.  Or she felt that you wronged her by taking her for granted and not paying her enough attention.  Can you do anything to change this?

If these are the main reasons you lost her, then the answer is yes, sometimes you can get her back.  You need to understand something and promise something.   Here’s what you need to understand.  Women need to feel valued and appreciated.  Really.

This is the key understanding you need to have.  Way too often men stop appreciating and valuing their girlfriends.  The women feel taken for granted.  Learn more about how to get your ex back here.

If you understand this, then you can make a powerful promise.  You can promise that you will appreciate and value her from this moment forward.  That is the promise you must get across to her.

Start by telling her that you now understand you made a big mistake by taking her for granted.  Then convince her that you miss her so much and feel that you have learned from your mistake.  Then promise you’ll make it up to her and show her how much you value her from now on.

Assuming you really mean it and are sincere, promising her this can touch her heart.  It can get her thinking about taking you back.  Women like to hear that men have learned from their mistakes.  There is more to this strategy, but making this promise is a key step.  You can learn more How To Get Relationship Advicehere.

relationship advice

Most of us think that when trust is broken in a relationship, it is almost impossible to rebuild.  However, if you wronged your partner and broke their trust (say, by cheating on them), it can be rebuilt if you follow a few important steps.  You can learn more about resolving relationship conflict here.

Step One is to accept the blame for what you did.  This in itself is radical.  Instead of giving lame excuses or blaming your mate for being cold to you, you just take the blame.  “Hon, I wronged you, I cheated on you.”  When our mate has wronged us one of the things we wonder is do they really understand what they did wrong.  Step one takes care of this.  You make it very clear that you are to blame and you accept responsibility.

This is a remarkable way to start restoring trust!  Instead of the usual defending and excuses when there is a problem in the relationship, we own up to what we did.  This is a powerful way to begin rebuilding trust, if you are sincere.

The second step builds on this.  You then say something like “I know I hurt you, and here is the hurt I think I caused you.”  You can learn more getting your ex back specifics here.

Your partner is hurting over what happened.  So you own up to their hurt feelings as well, since you caused them!  “I know I caused you pain, and left you broken hearted…”

Amazing!  This too is different from what your mate expects to hear.  Instead of excuses, you really seem to understand the damage you caused.  You’ve not only taken the blame, you have owned up to the pain you caused.

Using the best words you can find, describe the emotional damage you think you  caused.  You want your partner to get a good sense that you understand the emotional damage you caused them.  This is critical to rebuilding trust.

Most apologies don’t work because they miss these two steps.  Accept blame for what you did and let your mate know you understand the emotional pain you caused.  When you do this, your apology is much more effective towards rebuilding trust.  There are more steps to it, but these first two can take you a long way.  Go here for a free course on Emotional Relationship Advice.

love relationships

Arguing amongst mates is common.  And, to a certain extent, arguing should happen between two independent adults who are in a relationship.  It’s going to happen.  There is no need to worry that your relationship is in trouble if you argue from time to time. You can get Loving Relationship Advice on this here.

But, arguing in a bad way is a problem.  Even just a little conflict that damages the relationship can lead to divorce or breaking up.

Unhealthy arguing that damages the relationship occurs in several ways.  The first common way is when one or both of you attack the other, or withdraw into silence for days.  Attacking your mate, yelling at them, screaming or deriding them is a bad way to argue.  Another negative way to argue is to withdraw for hours or days and refuse to talk with your mate.  Both attacking and withdrawing lead to problems.

Another big cause of damage in your relationship is if during an argument you say things that are very hurtful to your mate, like you’re a complete stupid idiot or a worthless wench.   Studies have shown that if one or both partners treat each other with scorn or contempt during an argument, that relationship gets severely damaged.  If you treat your mate with scorn or get treated with scorn you should learn how to deal with conflict in a healthier way.

What then, are good ways to argue?  One way is to try to learn to breathe and look your mate in the eye when arguing.  Learning to breathe during an argument can help you to stay more calm.  You can get more relationship wisdom here.

It may take a while to learn this, but aim to de-escalate arguments.  If your partner is yelling, see if you can talk softly.  If you are doing the yelling, see if you can breathe and pause and aim to not damage your partner.

Another key skill for good arguing is to ask your lover what’s important to them about the thing you’re arguing over.  Then shut up and LISTEN.  You don’t have to agree, but just listening will make room for you to share your views and then you can often get to a compromise.

Lastly, a great move is to reconnect with your lover fast after the argument is over.  Don’t let the resentment and silence linger or build up.  Say “I’m sorry we disagreed, are you all right?”  Break the ice!  There is much more to learn about good conflict, but this is a good start.  You can get a complete system about relationship advice here.

Cheating and infidelity are a big relationship killer.  If it happens to you, that your mate cheated on you, this is a big problem.    The trust and faith that is essential to intimacy has been broken.  You feel betrayed and hurt.  Maybe you already kicked out your mate.  This is only to be expected.  You can get more Relationship Advice here.

After infidelity, should you try to fix your relationship?  If kids are involved, working it out can be a kindness.  Also, if you have put a lot of work into your partnership, it is worth not tossing it away without some salvage work.

If this is the case with you, take heart.  There is hope.  You can sometimes not only get your ex back, but you can make the relationship stronger than it was before.  It will be challenging, but it can be done. 

So to begin, you need to fix the broken trust.  You need to resolve the feelings of betrayal.  And, with some basic emotional intelligence, you don’t need to wait months or years to restore trust, you can do it days.

How you do this is in part through “venting.”  You have to get the hurtful angry sad feelings off your chest.  You have to tell your mate not to argue, but to just listen, then you spill your feelings about what happened. You can learn more about love relationship advice here.

This is an important step to repairing the damage from the betrayal.  You have to let your ex know how it made you feel in a way that is safe and respected.  You can get coaching on how to do it, but doing it will help you.

Another thing that can help you repair the relationship is counseling.  If your mate won’t go, you can go by yourself.  Relationship therapists and coaches are trained to help you deal with these tricky emotional situations.  Use them!

The point is that you can repair your relationship if that is what you want for yourself and your family.  It will be challenging, but it can also be well worth it to salvage your relationship and build it up to be even stronger.  You can get a complete system for Get Ex Back here.

relationship advice

There are lots of reasons that relationships break up.  Two of the three main reasons relationships break up are that you wronged your mate or they wronged you.  If you cheated on your ex or fought with them too much, you wronged them.  If they committed infidelity or were too controlling, for example, they wronged you.  You can learn more about Get Ex Back here. 

If your mate wronged you or you them, there is one very important step to getting your ex back that can work quickly.  If you use it, you can often get your ex back in hours or days, not months.  This step can be called venting.  Venting is getting things off one’s chest.  Why is this so important to getting your ex back quickly?

Because when you get dumped by your ex, it means that the good feelings they had for you are now replaced by negative feelings.  Anger, sadness, hurt, betrayal now take the place of happiness, pleasure, love and intimacy.  This is easy to understand.    But hardly anyone knows what to do about these negative feelings.  Sure, you can wait a month or six to see if time heals the wound, but what if you want your ex back in a day or a week?  Is there any way to speed up the process of healing those negative feelings?

One powerful way to resolve negative feelings is to vent them.  To let them go.  To get them off one’s chest.  So you can call you ex and ask them how what you did made them feel.  That’s a start.  Then you have to be quiet and let them start telling you, let them start venting.  You can get a complete system for Get Ex Back here that goes into detail.

Look at it like a balloon filling with the hot air of negative feelings.  You want to prick the balloon by inviting your ex to vent.  It’s not hard, but it takes a bit of practice.  You want to make them feel heard and understood.  You don’t argue or explain or defend yourself.

You use this same method in reverse if your ex wronged you in some way.  If they committed infidelity and you kicked them but want them back, you need to clear or vent your negative feelings over what they did.  You need to let go of those feelings before you can really trust them some again.  You do this by asking them to just listen to you and not explain or justify while you talk.

You already know about this tool.  You’ve probably used it many times over a beer with a friend getting things off your chest about work or your personal life, for example.

Venting, along with a few other steps, can make a big difference in getting your ex back fast.  It can help you get them back in hours instead of waiting months and hoping they will get over it eventually!  You can get a free course on Get Relationship Advice here.

Your ex has left you.  You want them back.  You have called them and apologized for whatever you did wrong that caused them to leave.  Now, how do you ask them to take you back? You can learn more about how to get your ex back here.

A good first thing to realize is that each break up is different.  You can’t make a blanket rule about what to say or do.  You have to feel it out with your ex.

Let’s say that you wronged your mate and were too controlling and jealous.  You have apologized powerfully to them and they have at least listened to your apology.  They seem to be open to you again.  Now what?  If you are too pushy they will think you haven’t really changed, won’t they?

So you ask for a second chance.  You say something natural.  “Will you give me a second chance?”  That is simple and normal.  Where the skill comes in is realizing the ball is in their court now.  Let them have the ball and take the time they need to consider your request.

Understand that asking them to give you a second chance is a very big deal.  They left you because of some strong negative feelings over whatever happened.  This is an important issue.  (Go here for a complete course on How To Have Marital Help)

Your ex has to take the time to feel the situation through.  Weigh the pros and cons.  They don’t want to make a mistake and take you back only to start feeling bad again.

So let them have control.  Ask them to take you back, and see what happens.  Don’t try to push the issue.  If they want to think about it, ask them if you can call them in a day or two.  If they seem more open to you, you can ask if you can come over and talk about it tonight.

Your job is to make a sincere apology and then ask them to take you back.  That’s your part.  Then give them control, feel them out, let them be in charge of when and how to take you back.  You can get a complete system for Get Your Ex Back In Hours here.

relationship advice

Once our ex dumps us, we can really start to miss them.  It hurts so much we can end up doing crazy things.  We can stalk them by phone, text, or in person.  We can say I’m sorry til we’re blue in the face to no avail.  And we can beg and plead for another chance.  You can learn more about bad relationship advice here.

You hopefully suspect begging doesn’t work.  One issue with pleading piteously is that it doesn’t change their negative feelings about you.  It may reinforce them.  You need to understand the emotional logic that if your ex dumped you, their heart has more negative feelings for you now than positive ones.

You can beg all you want, but it won’t change their negative feelings about you.  They may pity you for begging, but just see you as weak and it will confirm they made a good choice in dumping you.

Instead of begging, you need to do something much more intelligent and powerful.  You need to have a plan that allows your ex to release the negative emotions they have about you.  Those negative emotions are what is keeping you apart.

It depends on why your ex left you, but there are several ways to get them back fast.  You need to follow a plan that includes steps that help them to let go of the bad emotions they have so they can get back to feelings of intimacy.  Go here for a free course on How To Get Relationship Help.

The first step is to own up or fess up to what you did wrong (if you did nothing wrong you will need to follow a different Immediate Reconnect Strategy).  Don’t make excuses or give lame explanations like “it didn’t mean anything.”

The next very important step is to let them get things off their chest.  Let them vent.  Ask them how they feel about whatever happened then LISTEN.  Listening to their feelings is what helps them to let go of their negativity.

There is a lot more to this strategy, but it will usually be a lot more powerful than begging and pleading with them to take you back.  You can take a free course on how to get your ex back in hours.  You can get a complete system about how to get your ex back here.

Infidelity is the cause of many relationship break ups.  The reason is obvious.  When one partner cheats, the other will usually feel like “I can’t trust you ever again.”

This is a normal feeling after cheating occurs.  That’s because trust is such an essential part of a close, true love.  When it gets broken, we usually feel very strongly that there is no way to get it back.  Even if there are a lot of things we do/did like about our mate, after cheating occurs we don’t feel how we could ever be happy with them after a betrayal like that.  You can learn more about Get Ex Back after infidelity here.

For this reason trust is one of the largest problems in break ups.  Your ex is wondering if they can ever truly trust you not to cheat on them again.  Why get back together if there is just going to be more cheating?  So when break ups happen due to cheating, on of the big issue on your ex’s mind is

Can I ever feel that I can trust you after this?

I mean, if they rejected you because of some problem behavior, like cheating, or fighting, or not communicating with them, then they need to know BEFORE they let you come back that you wont keep doing the thing they left you about.

But the feeling of broken trust is one of the hardest things for an ex to get over.  After all, we usually feel like trust gets built over a long time.  Emotionally, we believe when trust is broken that our relationship can’t be fixed, right?

You must understand the trust issue to see how you can get back together with your ex.  If you can’t deal with the feelings of betrayal and broken trust and the complete emotional distance that it causes, you won’t be able to get back together.  And, if you do somehow luck out and they give you another chance, it won’t last, because without trust there can’t be the feeling of closeness and intimacy we all really want.

How might you deal with your ex’s lack of trust?  It’s a complex answer, but one thing that often happens after cheating is we try to avoid the blame.  We try to say it wasn’t our fault.  We say “I drank too much,” or “You were mean to me!”  When a relationship buster like infidelity has happened, we will almost naturally try to avoid taking the blame. 

Give those excuses to your ex and shell think you’re a weak idiot.  She may take you back, but it wont last, there will be real distance, because those excuses don’t allow her to trust you.  What if you get drunk again?  What if she is cold to you a month from now?  What if a pretty skirt tempts you tomorrow when you’re walking down the street? So one of the first powerful things you can do is accept blame.  Take full responsibility.  Don’t offer weak or lame excuses.  You can learn a full system for Get Your Ex Back In Hours here.

You can own up to it by saying something along the lines of “I cheated on you and betrayed you.  I apologize and I I’m sure I caused you to feel like you can’t ever trust me again…”

This is an adult way to begin to repair the damage to their trust.  Hearing responsibility being taken like that allows us to see that maybe they understand what they did wrong.  It helps lay the foundation for forgiveness.  Just like when you catch your kids screwing up, if they lie about it you just get more angry.  But if they apologize and own it, you can more easily begin to forgive.

There are many other steps that need to be followed before you can truly begin to repair the trust, but this is a very big initial step!  Go here for a free course on How To Have Marital Help.