How To Save My Relationship – Don't Let This Be The End

Posted by chrisr on 10 June 2009

If you’re going thru that awful time when you love feels like is coming to a close and you end up pleading, “Someone, please stop my breakup!” you are not alone. There are numerous who have gone thru it and saved their relationship and lots who did not but found themselves satisfied again afterward. There are things that you can do to help stop a split or correct issues before they get to that point.

First realize, though , that as much as you may wish to save your relationship you may not be in a position to. Ensure that you prepare yourself mentally for any possible outcome. This isn’t thinking pessimistically, it is being pragmatic which is what you want to be.

Make use of family therapy or search out relationship advisors. They have been well trained and have lots of experience helping people go through these times. Even if there’s adultery concerned, they’re going to be in a position to help. Many relations have been brought back from the edge due to counseling and care. They are accustomed to dealing with infidelity between spouses, depression, or any other things that stress a relationship to the point of breakup. relationship counseling doesn’t have to be expensive, there are plenty of good choices for you to use to get good relationship advice before you see a breakup lawyer.

One thing that you can learn not to do that may help stop your breakup before you ever get an attorney involved is don’t argue. Disagreeing will only make the situation worse. You can try calling it reasoning or what ever but the reality is you try to cause them to feel differently than they do. If you’re serious and you would like to “stop my breakup” then notice that your battle is against your separation, not against your partner. The more you argue with them and try to point out where they are wrong the more they will be wrong in your mind.

Don’t try and protect yourself. You could be right, but do not try and convince them of that. Find the truth in their debate and agree with that. The more you can agree with the things they say, the more they will be right. This can only make them see that you are prepared to do what you need them to do, see your side of the tale. If you are willing to be honest and accept what they are trying to say then they will more likely be open to listening to your side. Relationship support is great at helping you know how to speak better if you need to “get ex girlfriend back.”

This is only 1 part of the things that you can do to help when you’re desiring somebody to help “stop my breakup”. Quit talking about it and start acting on it. Your relationship will only have an opportunity to survive if you are prepared to act.

For some more excellent ideas check out this magic of making up review, it has helped numerous people in the same situations as you are in right now.

Making Up With Your Exgirlfriend

Posted by chrisr on 02 June 2009

getting ex girlfriend back

Okay, your ex girlfriend broke up with you.  You now realize what you had and you miss her and you really want a second chance.  You want to get her back and show her how much you love and enjoy her.  You can learn more about getting ex back here.

How then can you get a second chance with your ex girlfriend?  The answer is that you have to know the main reason why you broke up.  That will determine how you try to get her back.

There are two main reasons for breaking up that we’ll look at here.  The first is that you wronged your girlfriend in some way.  Perhaps you cheated on her or were too controlling and she got fed up.

A second big reason relationships end is because of relationship drift.  She just isn’t that into you anymore.  Maybe she got bored or started to feel unappreciated and unloved.  She lost interest in you as a lover over time.

So if you understand why she left you, then you’ll know which approach to use to get her back.  Let’s say you cheated on your ex girlfriend.  You wronged her.  Then the approach to use is to make a Smart Apology.  This is a particular kind of apology that is emotionally powerful and can begin to repair the damage you caused by wronging her.  You can learn more about Get Your Ex Back In Hours specifics here.

A smart apology has six or seven steps to it.  You don’t even apologize til after the 3rd or 4th step.  First off, you own up to what you did that hurt her.  Then you let her get things off her chest, you let her talk and yell and vent as she sees fit to let her hurt feelings get released.  In both of these steps, you don’t argue or justify or explain yourself.  You don’t say “it didn’t mean anything.”

Just taking those two steps before you actually say you’re sorry can make a big difference in how your ex girlfriend feels about you.  Don’t just keep saying I’m sorry a hundred times.  Say you’re sorry in a smart way and you will impact her emotionally to consider taking you back.

Now, if the problem the relationship ended was because she isn’t that into you anymore, you need an entirely different approach, obviously.  You can find out more about that from a free course in the link below.  There is much more to getting your ex girlfriend back, but just this is a good way to begin.  Get your free course on how to get your ex back here.

Getting Your Ex Back After You Did Something Wrong

Posted by chrisr on 27 May 2009

conflict

Do you want to get your ex back even though you “wronged” them?  Perhaps you were too controlling or abusive or you committed infidelity.  Your ex drew a line, closed off their heart to you, and left the relationship.  You can learn more about Get Ex Back here.

So now you are sorry for what you’ve done and you’ve learned a thing or two about how not to act if you want to keep a mate around.  This is good.  The next thing to understand is that there is real hope for reconnecting with your ex and getting them back into relationship with you. 

The first thing proven method to getting your ex back after wronging them is to admit to yourself that you did wrong them.  You did something or somethings that hurt them.  You caused them to go from a heart full of love for you to a heart full of sadness or anger or pain about you.  You did that.  You cheated on them or you argued and fought with them and they finally had it.

Why is admitting to ourselves that we wronged our mate so important?  Because we naturally don’t like to take the blame for what we did.  We like to project the blame for our problems onto others or stress or whatever.  Sometimes we even blame our ex for making us wrong them!  You can get a complete system for Get Your Ex Back In Hours here.

The second step is to then admit this to your ex.  Don’t make excuses, dont try to explain, don’t say it didn’t mean anything.  Talk to your ex and fess up.  In your own words say I wronged you.  This is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Why is this important?  Because when someone hurts us we can’t start to forgive, usually, until we know that they own up to what they did.  If you cheated on your ex and say “it didn’t mean anything” then they will think you might do it again, because it wasn’t that big and meaningful an issue to you.  But if you own up, your ex can at least feel that you understand what you did wrong.

Until we know that our mate understands that cheating was wrong, or being too controlling was wrong, we aren’t ever going to be sure they won’t repeat the bad behavior.  And so we cant start to forgive.  If you want your ex to forgive make sure one of the first things out of your mouth, before you ever say Im sorry, is to say I wronged you!

So instead of beginning with endless I’m sorry’s, do something more powerful first.  Own up to yourself that you did them wrong, them admit it to them without excuses.  This is a good way to begin to fix the damage you caused and make way for them to consider taking you back.  Go here for a free course on How To Get Relationship Advice.

Making Up Fast With This Technique

Posted by chrisr on 26 May 2009

relationship advice

There are lots of reasons that relationships break up.  Two of the three main reasons relationships break up are that you wronged your mate or they wronged you.  If you cheated on your ex or fought with them too much, you wronged them.  If they committed infidelity or were too controlling, for example, they wronged you.  You can learn more about Get Ex Back here. 

If your mate wronged you or you them, there is one very important step to getting your ex back that can work quickly.  If you use it, you can often get your ex back in hours or days, not months.  This step can be called venting.  Venting is getting things off one’s chest.  Why is this so important to getting your ex back quickly?

Because when you get dumped by your ex, it means that the good feelings they had for you are now replaced by negative feelings.  Anger, sadness, hurt, betrayal now take the place of happiness, pleasure, love and intimacy.  This is easy to understand.    But hardly anyone knows what to do about these negative feelings.  Sure, you can wait a month or six to see if time heals the wound, but what if you want your ex back in a day or a week?  Is there any way to speed up the process of healing those negative feelings?

One powerful way to resolve negative feelings is to vent them.  To let them go.  To get them off one’s chest.  So you can call you ex and ask them how what you did made them feel.  That’s a start.  Then you have to be quiet and let them start telling you, let them start venting.  You can get a complete system for Get Ex Back here that goes into detail.

Look at it like a balloon filling with the hot air of negative feelings.  You want to prick the balloon by inviting your ex to vent.  It’s not hard, but it takes a bit of practice.  You want to make them feel heard and understood.  You don’t argue or explain or defend yourself.

You use this same method in reverse if your ex wronged you in some way.  If they committed infidelity and you kicked them but want them back, you need to clear or vent your negative feelings over what they did.  You need to let go of those feelings before you can really trust them some again.  You do this by asking them to just listen to you and not explain or justify while you talk.

You already know about this tool.  You’ve probably used it many times over a beer with a friend getting things off your chest about work or your personal life, for example.

Venting, along with a few other steps, can make a big difference in getting your ex back fast.  It can help you get them back in hours instead of waiting months and hoping they will get over it eventually!  You can get a free course on Get Relationship Advice here.

Help on How to Save a Relationship

Posted by chrisr on 25 May 2009

Jim works long hours and Lisbet does not feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you should pin down the difficulty or issues in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For example, many of us think an affair is an issue that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core issues, you can start to share your thoughts. This implies both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your better half’s concerns. Hold your better half’s had when you’re talking about your issues as a signal that you need to reconnect even if your emotions are swirling. When your better half talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she’s not doing it as she wants to break you. Rather it is really because they need to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the issues in your relationship, create an action plan to unravel them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you do not spend time together like you used to, plan a date night each week. Take turns coming up with creative methods to spend an evening together each  Wed. .If not communicating is the difficulty, commit to spending twenty mins before heading off to bed just speaking to each other. And, then do it.

Finally, you need to notice that saving a relationship is a continuing process. You’re going to take 2 steps forward only to take one step back. There’s going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be fast to say sorry and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

Get Ex Back With No Begging

Posted by chrisr on 23 May 2009

relationship advice

Once our ex dumps us, we can really start to miss them.  It hurts so much we can end up doing crazy things.  We can stalk them by phone, text, or in person.  We can say I’m sorry til we’re blue in the face to no avail.  And we can beg and plead for another chance.  You can learn more about bad relationship advice here.

You hopefully suspect begging doesn’t work.  One issue with pleading piteously is that it doesn’t change their negative feelings about you.  It may reinforce them.  You need to understand the emotional logic that if your ex dumped you, their heart has more negative feelings for you now than positive ones.

You can beg all you want, but it won’t change their negative feelings about you.  They may pity you for begging, but just see you as weak and it will confirm they made a good choice in dumping you.

Instead of begging, you need to do something much more intelligent and powerful.  You need to have a plan that allows your ex to release the negative emotions they have about you.  Those negative emotions are what is keeping you apart.

It depends on why your ex left you, but there are several ways to get them back fast.  You need to follow a plan that includes steps that help them to let go of the bad emotions they have so they can get back to feelings of intimacy.  Go here for a free course on How To Get Relationship Help.

The first step is to own up or fess up to what you did wrong (if you did nothing wrong you will need to follow a different Immediate Reconnect Strategy).  Don’t make excuses or give lame explanations like “it didn’t mean anything.”

The next very important step is to let them get things off their chest.  Let them vent.  Ask them how they feel about whatever happened then LISTEN.  Listening to their feelings is what helps them to let go of their negativity.

There is a lot more to this strategy, but it will usually be a lot more powerful than begging and pleading with them to take you back.  You can take a free course on how to get your ex back in hours.  You can get a complete system about how to get your ex back here.

Get Ex Back With Emotional Intelligence

Posted by chrisr on 10 May 2009

You’ve broken up with your ex.  A little time has passed and now you want to get your ex back.  What relationship advice can help? Learning some more about these topics can help: How To Fix Relationship Problems can help in lots of ways.

When breaking up, what happens for everyone is that our feelings of closeness and connection with our partner get replaced by emotions like anger or betrayal.  This is why we fight and break up.  It’s just what happens to couples the world over.

But after a short while you started to have feelings of regret and you began to miss those feelings of softness and closeness you had with your mate.  What is happening is that your hurt and bad feelings are changing.  This is an important thing to note about emotions.  Angry, hurt feelings aren’t set in stone.  Feelings change.

You know this from your own life.  You’ve been sad about some things and the sadness goes away after a while, doesn’t it?  You get really angry as somebody, yet even a day later you aren’t as mad.  That’s how emotions work.  They change.  Good ones, bad ones, they will shift.  This is useful Emotional Logic to pay attention to.  Emotions shift, they change all the time for all of us.

You know this first hand.  While you were breaking up with your ex, you were angry or very hurt and sad.  Now, those feelings are being replaced, shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you had with your mate.  Now you want to give it another go.  Your feelings have shifted.  It seems obvious, but the point is important:  feelings change.

However, some feelings can take a while to change.  They can get stuck.  If your ex doesn’t want to get back together with you, then they are still stuck with feelings of hurt or betrayal.  For example, if you cheated on your ex, this brings up strong feelings in them that are hard to deal with.  Your ex is likely still filled with powerful emoitons like sadness and shame or rage.

How then can you use Emotional Logic to help you to get back with your ex?  One simple important thing you can do is to help them to get their negative feelings released and resolved. Help them to “vent” these feelings and get them off their chest.  You did this by asking them in varioius ways how they feel about whatever you did that triggered the break up.  “How are you feeling about what happened?”  Then be silent and let them start to vent or spill their hurt feelings out.  Listening is an important step in or to Get Ex Back In Just Hours.

Do not argue with them or try to explain yourself endlessly.  Let them do all the talking, you listen.  That way, you avoid more arguing.  Make them right, whatever they say, for just these few minutes.  After a short time of venting, your ex will often begin to let go of the charge they have about what happened.  Then, they can begin to start to feel better about you!

There is more to this process, but supporting your ex in “spilling” and releasing their negative feelings can be a vital part in getting them to take you back into their life.  Feelings change, and you want to help their negative feelings change as fast as you can!

You can get a free course here about the specific steps to get your ex back

Get Ex Back Using A Power Apology

Posted by chrisr on 09 May 2009

We never really got any training on how to apologize powerfully.  Sure, all of us know how to say I’m sorry.  But if you did your ex wrong and now you want them back, you’re going to need to say something much more powerful than I’m sorry.

There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Making Up With Your Ex Fast.

Fortunately, there are deeper levels of apologies that we never learned in school.  When you have lost your relationship and your love because you did something wrong to them, you will need to make a Power Apology.

A power apology has as many as 7 or eight steps to it.   A power apology is designed to get your ex from anger or hurt to acceptance and forgiveness in just hours or sometimes even minutes.  Power apologies should be taught in school, they are so useful in keeping relationships from ending.  Here are the steps to a Power Apology:

The first thing is to fess up to what you did.  Own up to it.  Admit it if you wronged your mate (there is a different process if your mate wronged you).  This is important because rather than excuses and explanations I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! you let your ex know that you understand that you did them wrong.

The second step is to mirror their feelings.  This is powerful relationship intelligence.  How do you mirror their feelings?  You say something like I know what I did hurt you, and made you feel betrayed, and sad.  You tell your ex how what you did made them feel.  Mirroring their emotional state is potent emotional intelligence.   Your ex will start to feel really heard.

The third thing is to let them vent and get their hurt feelings off their chest.  You listen and let them tell you how they feel about what you did.  You just want to make them feel heard and understood, so you listen and don’t defend or try to explain yourself.

To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.

If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness.  By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong.  You have been an adult and taken responsibility.  At some level they will respect this.    Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them.  And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.

Finally you can now actually say I’m sorry and apologize.  Now it will likely get accepted by your ex.

Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.

Making Up Without Waiting Too Long

Posted by chrisr on 05 May 2009

Most of the books available on getting your ex back give the same advice.  Wait four weeks or so and have no contact with them.  Then call and see if they want to talk to you.  The idea here is that after a month they won’t be so mad and will be more willing to talk.  You can get more Get Your Ex Back In Hours info here.

This is based on the principle that time heals all wounds.  After four weeks or so, your ex won’t be angry anymore, and might even have started to miss you some.

The get your ex back by waiting 30 days approach can work in some situations.  And it can also backfire.  Your ex’s anger can fester and their heart can harden towards you.  And they might start seeing someone else, which will make it very hard to have them reattach their affections towards you.

To avoid losing your ex to another person, you may want to try a more direct approach.  There are some immediate reconnect strategies that will often work to get an ex back in hours or days, not months.  Go here for a complete system on Get Relationship Help.

Let’s say that you wronged your mate by cheating on them.  They kicked you out last week, saying they could never trust you again.  This is completely understandable.  They are mad, feel betrayed and hurt.  Of course they don’t want to be in a relationship with you. 

To get your ex back fast, realize that feelings do change.  Your ex will get over it eventually, even it it takes a year.

The big important key to understand to get your ex back fast is that you yourself can help their feelings to change.  You don’t have to wait on mother time to heal the wounds.  Two ways to accomplish this are by making a certain kind of deep apology, and helping them to get their negative feelings off their chest.

When combined, these two methods can help your ex release their hurt feelings.  This makes room for forgiveness, which is the first step to taking your back.  So venting and apologizing in the right way can get your ex back in hours instead of weeks or months.  You can get a complete system for Get Ex Back Fast here.

How To Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back After A Breakup

Posted by chrisr on 05 May 2009

Brace yourself, I am about to bare some robust systems on how to get an ex boyfriend back. These might even shock you because most ladies when making an attempt to get an ex boyfriend back utterly ignore these. These type of break ups are hard to deal with. You will not stop brooding about the situation and you’re going through a consistent torture. The thing is that in most relations after they have stopped, both partners at the rear of their minds wish to get back together again.

I have put together some pointers for ladies who are lost as to how to get an ex boyfriend back, and these will definitely help you to get the ball rolling.

After a break it is ordinary to feel agonizing and  hurt. Don’t attempt to hide the pain you’re going thru. If you are feeling like crying, cry to your heart’s content. Don’t try and suppress it, as by suppressing it you will throw yourself into a state of depression. By permitting yourself to miss, this could help you heal the agony awfully quickly.

After the dust has settled a bit and you are clear in your judgement, sit down and have a think over the last events and attempt to pin down what went incorrect. This may help you realize what were the problems that was the cause of break up, and you need to know that to get an ex boyfriend back. It’ll also bring to light as to whose fault it was, and if you are feeling you had a more contributing role to the break up then this is your opportunity to put your hand up, accept that you definitely made a mistake, and learn from it.

More regularly than not, break ups are due to certain personality marks or bad habits. If you realize that the break up was due to one of your traits or bad habits then this is your chance to determine if you can change yourself or give up that certain bad habit.

If you feel the break up was due to your ex boyfriend’s fault or one of his character marks or bad habits then be aware of that and when you meet up you might raise this point and see what he needs to say to this.

Many ladies refuse to act on this tip point blank. But if you are actually serious about find out how to get my ex boyfriend back then this one methodology can go a long way. And that is to pamper him and send him gifts, you may even want to tell him that you really miss him. But only do this when they are actively listening to you and the best time for this could be a few weeks after the break up.
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