The Real Marriage Test

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 15 February 2011

If you have ever thumbed through a magazine that regularly discusses relationships, whether it be a men’s or women’s magazine, chances are you have seen various types of quizzes. One of the more common quizzes is the marriage test. You answer a few silly questions, and then check your answers to get some supposedly deep insight into you relationship.

There is nothing wrong with such quizzes, and they can be a fun way to pass some while waiting for a doctor’s appointment. As long as you only take them for what they are–a source of entertainment–then there is no real harm in taking them. Besides, if you have ever taken them, you have probably noticed one or two things. First, the explanation of your score is so far off that it’s downright laughable. Second, the explanations are so general that they could apply to virtually any relationship you have ever been in; good or bad.

It is probably a safe assumption that no marriage test in a magazine has ever saved a marriage. They are fun and have their place, but fixing a relationship isn’t it; no matter what the maker of the quiz claims. However, there is a test you can use to help make your marriage stronger. You won’t find it any magazine, but not to worry, the questions of this marriage test are below.

Before you take the test, you need to decide which way works best for you. Will each of you take it separately with a pen and paper, or will you discuss the answers as you take the test? Either way, the main goal is to spark a good discussion about your marriage. This is important because good communication is one of the foundations of a healthy marriage.

1. How do you envision our future? This is a good question because it will show if you have drifted apart, or if you are still together in the things you want from the relationship. It’s far better to know where each of you stands instead of making assumptions. But, as long as you both seeing you being together, then it’s possible to work out the details.

2. What do you want from the marriage and life? The purpose of this question is to not only see what the ideal marriage means to each other, but to also see what the bigger life questions mean. Over the years people change, so you may be surprised to learn how your spouse answers this question, and vice-versa.

3. What’s the one thing you would change? By asking this you will get an idea of where the problem areas of your marriage are. Don’t take it personally, but be happy that you get a chance to learn where you can make improvements.

4. What could I do better? Be careful here. You need to make sure there is enough respect before you ask this question. The one answer you don’t want to hear is "nothing". The truth is that none of us are perfect, and that means there is always room to do better. Your spouse should feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth, and you should feel confident enough to hear it.

How Hard Is It To Win Your Love Back – It Takes Work

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 15 February 2011

We have all been there at one time or another. We are in a relationship, and we think things are going along just fine. But then it happens. The next thing you know is you’re looking at the wrong side of a break up. No question, it is a tough thing to have to go through. You’re left wondering what happened, and you have to live with the results. There are hurt feelings, but as they say, time heals all wounds. You start to miss what you once had and decide that you want to win your love back. It’s not going to be easy, but it can be done.

Before you can move forward on trying to get back together, you have to take an honest look at what you had before. The problem is that we have a tendency to look back with fondness and see things as better than they really were. Try to picture yourself as a disinterested observer. What do you see? Can you see where things went wrong? More importantly, no matter how bad it was, will you be able to do whatever it takes to build a new relationship?

Keep in mind that a lot of other before you have tried to mend broken relationships. They thought they could make it work. Yet, after all of their effort, they simply were not able to stay together, if they were able to get back together at all. However, there have also been those who were able to have a new life together, and one that was far better than the one they knew before. Hopefully you will be one of the success stories. Just remember it will take effort and commitment. For the sake of the rest of this article, we will assume that you have decided you really do want to win your love back, and are willing to give it the effort that entails.

Your next step is to take a close look at your faults; specifically those faults that contributed to your relationship coming to an end. Once you figure out what those are, you need to do what you can to fix them. Remember, you have no power to directly change anybody else except yourself. So, this means you need to do your best to become a better person and learn from your past mistakes.

Once you have this done, you can talk to your ex about how you have changed. However, don’t start going into all of the details about how you are going to win them back. If you come on too strong, too quickly, you will only scare them away. Another thing to keep in mind is that actions speak louder than words. So, while you can tell your ex that you have changed, you will come out much further ahead if you can show them that you have changed for the better. As mentioned earlier, trying to win your love back won’t always be easy, but it is possible.

Best Ways To Get Your Wife Back And Keep Her

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 15 February 2011

I can not really tell you the exact best ways to get your wife back, because I do not know you or why your wife left. What I can do is give you some ideas that have worked for thousands of men and more than likely will work for you too.

Of course, you may have to modify this advice a little depending on your specific situation. But for the most part, this information has helped save a lot of relationships and may well be able to help you too.

For one thing, you have to explore the relationship with your wife and try to identify what went wrong. The two of you were in love and compatible at one time, weren’t you? Well, what changed?

In most marriages the changes happen slowly and kind of sneak up on you so answering this question may not be as easy as it would seem.

I’m not talking about what the two of you fought about, that is different in almost all cases from what actually happened to make you start to resent each other. I seriously doubt any marriage on the planet fell apart because the husband forgot to put the toilet seat down, or because the wife left her lingerie hanging on the shower rod.

These are the things that get on your nerves when you are already mad or upset about something else. But what was it that lead to that resentment? It was probably more than one thing. In many cases a couple just starts to drift apart. They get focused on kids or work and do not connect with each other.

When they finally do try to connect they find that they are almost strangers. They just do not get the other one, they are not on the same page the way they once were.

If that is the case than it can be changed. The two of you can reconnect but only if you are both willing to spend the time and try. It probably won’t be easy, but as long as you both want it badly enough you can do it.

I know we all like things to be settled quickly and if you are in pain you no doubt would love to find
best ways to get your wife back quickly. The truth is though, that there are no quick fixes.

Another thing you can do while you are working all this out is to try and breathe. Try to take some time and calm down. Live your life. It is important to find the problems and find the solutions to those problems but it is also important to give yourself permission to slow down and be calm.

Actually, that can be vital to the success of your plan to get her back. If you come off as a desperate spaz you will only scare her off further. You have to let her see the strong, confidant, yet humble man that she fell in love with.

That coupled with your new found insight can really make her want to get back with you, and that can be one of the best ways to get your wife back.

What Does Marriage Really Mean To You and I

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 15 February 2011

Most people would count their wedding day as one of the happiest days in their lives. Marriage is often defined as "two people taking a voluntary vow to remain together for life". That’s a fair definition of marriage, but it isn’t going to do much for keeping you happy. So, that leads to the question of what marriage really means.

Perhaps the better solution is to define what marriage means to you. Then ask your spouse (or soon to be spouse) what their definition is as well. This will give each of you a better idea of what the relationship is all about. It can also give you interesting insights into what your partner thinks about being married, and lead to a meaningful conversation about the subject.

It is often said that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. The truth is that that statistic is questionable at best, but even if the real number is closer to 30% it means the odds of splitting up are far too high. That doesn’t mean a divorce is in your future and that you are doomed from the start, far from it. However, it is a good reason to make sure you practice communicating with one another. And if you have the same ideas and expectations about what does marriage really mean, then you will further increase your odds of staying happily together.

As mentioned, each of you will probably have a different definition of what being married means to you. There is nothing wrong with that, you are both individuals. However, it is a worthwhile exercise to create a common definition of marriage as well. One that you can both agree with, and the one that will be what your marriage is about. You can both keep your own definitions, of course, but they should be in harmony with your agreed up definition.

Let’s face it, most couples will never take the time to do this. That’s a shame because it helps to bring you even close together. It helps build good communication. On top of that, you will both have a much clearer idea of what your marriage means to you. Besides, it doesn’t really take all that much time when you consider the impact it has on a lifetime of happiness.

Once you have decided what marriage means, you can both then work to protect it. Can you imagine the positive impact this can have on your relationship? How wonderful! There is no second guessing what the other person really thinks, and you will both be made stronger because of it. It doesn’t seem too far-fetched to say that if every couple did this, then the divorce rate would be much lower than it is now.

Finally, you will notice that we are talking about coming up with your own personal definition of what marriage means to you as a couple. Sure, the dictionary and legal definitions are important to know, but they can’t compare to coming up with your answer to what does marriage really mean.

How To Get Your Ex Back With Humility

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 14 February 2011

Anybody who has been hurt after going through a break up understands how difficult it is to move forward, and how common the question of how to get your ex back is. In virtually every single case, both of you were to blame to some extent. In other words, both of you have hurt feelings, and both of you played a role in causing those hurt feelings. The ability to forgive is absolutely critical to mending a relationship, and must be part of the equation of how to win your ex back.

Getting your ex back means that you will have to learn to be humble. And it will be much easier if your ex demonstrates humility as well. This is the opposite of selfishness, and it’s being selfish that is at the root of a troubled relationship. You have to make up your mind that you are not the most important person in the couple, but that both of you are.

Let’s face it, we are all human, and that means we are all prone to making mistakes. While there may be some mistakes that are too big to move beyond, the truth is that most mistakes are quite minor in the bigger scope of things. Things said during the heat of an argument can sting, but they also tend to be exaggerated. That doesn’t make them okay, but remember how easy it is to say things you don’t really mean when you’re not thinking all that clearly.

Perhaps you have been on the receiving end of harsh words. If so, try to consider the context. Was it really meant to be the other person’s true feelings? Or, is it possible that the comments were made in the heat of the moment, and blown out of proportion? Before you answer too quickly, take a look at yourself and ask if you have ever said things you don’t really mean yourself. You will have an easier answer to how to get your ex back once you are able to see things for what they really are, instead of taking them too personally.

Now, even though you may not have meant a lot of the things you said or did, it’s still up to you to make amends for your actions. Notice that it says "make amends" and not "make excuses". A heartfelt apology can go a long way toward patching things up. You will have to be able to work things out if you want to have any chance of getting back together.

All of this goes beyond an honest apology. You also have to show that you aren’t going to make the same mistakes again. And that brings us full circle to the idea of humility. When you love each other and are willing to learn how to get your ex back, then you don’t need to prove you are right, or somehow better than the other person. Instead, you will work together to build a relationship that works the way both parties would like it to work.

I Want Him To Love Me Again – Tips For Doing So

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 14 February 2011

I really don’t think that there are many things worse in life than screwing up and losing a good relationship. It’s hard enough when things fall apart and it wasn’t your fault (mostly). But when you’ve done it to yourself, that is the worst. The regret, the pain, the shame all combine to make you feel pretty lousy. If you find yourself in this situation and you’re saying "I want him to love me again" than pay attention, I may just be able to help.

First things first, what went wrong? What did you do or say that pushed him away and, more importantly, why did you do or say those things? It’s not uncommon for people to sabotage a good relationship. I know that sounds dumb but many people simply don’t know how to react when something good happens to them. They will allow all the negative thoughts inside of them (as well as the negatives in the outside world) to mess with their head.

They will become convinced that this relationship is just too good to be true, too good to last. They will sub consciously sabotage it and ruin it. They don’t realize they are doing it, but the end result is the same: they’ve screwed up a great relationship and now they get to be "right".

You see, if in their minds they are convinced that a relationship can’t last, especially a good relationship, and they sub consciously ruin it, then they were right. They can say "See, I knew this relationship wouldn’t last" They might be right but they are also lonely and in pain.

What I have just outlined is very, very common. The worst part is you don’t even realize that’s what you’re doing. So if you want to get your lover to be in love with you again, and you realize now just what you’ve done, you can still fix it.

The first thing you really should do is to find a good (and no, not all of them are good) counselor. You need to work out why you don’t believe that good things can happen, or why you believe that good things can’t, or shouldn’t, happen to you.

Then you should talk openly and honestly with him. Let him know that you now realize that you were the one, even though it was on a sub conscious level, that pushed him away. Don’t be afraid to be completely honest with him. Tell him that you’re sorry and more importantly that you’ve gotten help and now you are a bigger person who can enjoy the benefits of a great relationship.

It might take a while for him to learn to trust you again. If this is what you want, you have to be willing to give him time. Anyone who has been hurt is going to have a really hard time trusting that person again and risk being hurt all over again. But with time, patience, and a lot of love you can find a way to win him back.

There are many reasons why relationships fall apart. Sometimes the relationship just isn’t any good and it’s for the best, but other times we can all be guilty of throwing away the best thing that ever happened to us. When that happens and you are saying: "I want him to love me again" just know that virtually anything can be overcome if you want it badly enough.

How Do I Get Back With My Ex After A Breakup

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 14 February 2011

It’s a fact of life: We fall in love, but we also have our hearts broken. Perhaps you have had a special relationship that has come to an end. Or has it? Don’t worry, wanting your ex back, to try again, is absolutely normal. Sometimes these feelings come right away, other times they may take longer to surface after the breakup. If want to know, "How do I get back with my ex?", you are not alone. But wondering isn’t going to get you back together. Instead, you need to take action to make it happen. What follows are a few tips to help you do just that.

Before you can start down the road to getting back together, before you can answer the question of "How do I get back with my ex?", you need to take a look at what led to your splitting up. You can only fix something if it’s broken, but you can also only fix it if you know where it’s broken. Understanding what made you break up will help to prevent you from making the same mistakes if you happen to get back together.

Next, you need to decide if you really want your ex back as much as you think you do. Of course, your initial reaction may be that definitely want them back. However, dig deep and be honest with yourself. Do you want to get back together because they are gone, because you feel that you can’t have them? Or, maybe you saw your ex with somebody else and now your jealousy is getting the better of you. Those aren’t very good reasons, and will only lead to another break up. In short, be sure you want your ex back for the right reasons.

One thing that helps is to get back to what made you fall in love with each other the first time. Rediscovering those qualities in your ex and in yourself will go a long way towards making up. Do your best to highlight those things within yourself, and to focus on them in your former partner. After all, they say "love conquers all" for a reason.

Before you jump right back into things, it’s better to meet under platonic circumstances. You can still have fun, but make sure it’s as just friends and with no strings attached. You also need to make sure that your first meetings are in a non-threatening environment and on neutral ground. You don’t want your ex to feel as though they are being pressured or manipulated during the meeting.

How do I get back with my ex is a fair question. It all comes down to looking at the relationship that was, the one you want to have and actually meeting up with your ex. Do whatever you can to keep things positive. That way your ex will associate you with the good feelings they’re experiencing. Over time, things will take their course. Do it right, and that course will lead to getting back together.

How To Win Love Back Fair And Square

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 14 February 2011

I can’t even begin to guess how many books, and articles have been written on the subject of how to win love back. I imagine the number would be well into the thousands. The point is, that finding a way to reconcile with someone you love and lost is a common problem that many people would love to have the answer for.

You can take heart, no matter how impossible it may seem to win your love back, there is always a chance that they feel the same way you do.

Since I don’t know you or the circumstances surrounding your breakup, I can only offer some good, general advice. Hopefully you will find something here that will allow you to find a way to reunite with your love.

If your breakup is recent, you need to leave your ex alone for a while. I know, I know, this sounds like impossible advice to follow (not to mention painful) but if your ex broke up with you it is really important to give them some space.

If you just go chasing after them one of two things will happen: one, they will think you are totally whipped and they will keep you hanging on indefinitely to feed their ego, or two, they will become freaked out by your behavior and consider you a pathetic (or possibly dangerous) stalker.

You don’t want your ex thinking of you in these ways. It will not bode well for any future relationship.

Another good reason to give it some time is that you can make some changes in your behavior. Even if you were not to blame for the breakup you still are not perfect… no one is.

So, if you find yourself single for a little while, why not spend some time improving on who you are. That way the next time you enter into a relationship (hopefully when you get back with your ex) you will be bringing an even better version of yourself to the relationship.

While you are giving your ex some cooling off time, why not spend some time with some old friends that you have not had a lot of time to see lately? This will have two benefits, for one thing it will help you keep your mind off of your ex, and two, you will just be able to have a little fun. That never hurt anyone, did it?

After a few weeks have gone by it may be a good time to talk to your ex. Call them and ask them if they would like to go out for dinner, lunch or coffee. It doesn’t really matter.

Do yourself a favor and don’t come on too strong. If you act like your date will just be some big ‘let’s get back together’ time they might get scared off. Keep it light and easy.

And last but not least, you have to face the very real possibility that they won’t want to get back with you. You should do everything you can but you must be willing to walk away if they say they are not interested in getting back together.

There are no guarantees in life but if you try, you might just be able to learn how to win love back. It is possible, good luck.

How To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend – Be Open Minded

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 14 February 2011

Learning the tricks on how to get back with your ex boyfriend might be tougher than you thought. No, it’s not impossible. As a matter of fact it’s probably more achievable than you may realize. The real problem is that in order to make things work this time around you may need to face someone that can really be difficult to face: you.

What I mean is that in any relationship there are issues. Some issues are big and some are small. Sometimes the issues are fairly evenly divided between the two partners and sometimes it’s almost exclusively one persons fault that things fell apart.

In order to learn how to get back with your ex boyfriend you have to be willing to face whatever issues you brought to the relationship, and that’s not always fun to do. If you’re strong enough and determined enough to get him back than you’ll find the strength you need to make things work.

One thing to look out for though, don’t make the mistake of thinking that just because you make changes everything will be great for the two of you. It might be if you were 100% at fault with everything that went wrong and your ex boyfriend was perfect, but of course, we both know that’s not the case. You can’t change your ex, only he can change himself but if he won’t be willing to fix himself the way you are fixing yourself, it might be all for nothing.

So, what do you do to change? Well, it depends on what your issues are but for the most part if you figure out your issues and you’re completely honest with yourself you can figure out why you have the issues you have.

For example, if you’re overly jealous it usually means that you’ve either had someone cheat on you before or you just don’t feel worthy of the love your boyfriend gives you. If you don’t feel like your worth it it’s only natural that on some level you would think that he’s made a big mistake loving you and that sooner or later he’ll realize his mistake and leave you.

That’s not true of course, but if deep down that’s how you feel than that’s how you’re going to react. That could be a big issue in your relationships. The point is that if you’re having trouble honestly pinpointing your own issues and the causes for them, then you won’t be able to fix this relationship or any other for that matter. It’s best that you find someone who can help you work through all of this. Don’t get scared of the idea of working with a therapist, instead just find one that you like and feel comfortable with who can safely steer you in the direction you need to go.

It’s really not all that hard learning how to get back with your ex boyfriend. It will take time and honesty on your part but if you can find the strength you will be able to have great relationships for the rest of your life, not just romantic ones either, but all of them.

Can I Save My Marriage Before It Ends

Posted by Magic of Making Up on 14 February 2011

There is an oft-quoted statistic that says more than 50% of marriages end in divorce in the United States. While there is some evidence that that number is actually lower, there is no doubt that divorce is a problem. After all, who gets married with the idea of getting a divorce? No one. But yet it happens far too often. The sad thing isn’t so much the economic impact it has, but rather the emotional impact it has on all parties involved. Perhaps that’s why the question of "can I save my marriage" is so common when people sense they are headed for trouble.

The most important thing you should know is that it is quite possible to save all but the most troubled of marriages. You have to be willing to seek good advice, follow through on it, and be willing to whatever it takes to make things work. But just knowing it’s possible can you plenty of motivation and inner strength as you go through the process of saving your marriage.

You need to assess just how close you are to really getting a divorce, as that will determine what you need to do. For example, if your spouse has just served you with divorce papers, and you had no idea it was about to happen, then you need to pull out all the stops and go into "emergency mode". On the other hand, if you recently had a heated argument and you feel like things aren’t as good as they used to be, then you probably have a bit more time and can take a long view approach.

One thing you should keep in mind is that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. So don’t feel bad if it’s not going as well as it could be; that’s absolutely normal. There isn’t anybody in the world who is perfect, and a marriage is comprised of two imperfect people. Therefore, it only makes sense that there will be some problems.

If things are getting to be more than you can handle alone, then seeking help from a marriage counselor can help a great deal. They can help each of you to see things from a different point of view. Even more importantly, they will be able to give you advice on how to get along better and communicate more effectively.

When you learn how to communicate with each other, you will notice a huge improvement in your relationship. Good communication needs honesty, openness and respect. A spirit of compromise will also go a long way in keeping things running smoothly.

By following these tips you will be able to give a positive answer to the question of "can I save my marriage". Yes, it will take some work and commitment, but most of the good things in life do. These are only the first steps. You need to take action, and it’s also a good idea to find more information to help the two of you work things out.

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